So, I decided to take one comment at a time and respond to each one. Let me start by saying that I have had about all of these statements spoken to me at some point in my cancer 'journey'. I guess there is no end to stupid or thoughtless or maybe the real word is uncomfortable.
Because I believe that even while us cancer survivors are still living those who walk around without cancer feel kind of guilty. Or lucky! Or superior!
" I probably do not have cancer because I move my legs every night before I go to bed." That's a line I heard from a person I would never name.
' Cancer does not run in our family." Interesting, but probably not true. Cancer has touched someone in your family. It might have been your great-uncle Sid who no one knew about - most of us do not know what everyone in our family died of or are currently dying from.
" I have never smoked, eaten a hamburger, and walk 50 miles a day." Yes, I made this one up- it was unthinkable not to.
There is a condition known as survivors guilt. It is used in the context of surviving the death of a loved one, or a known one. There was a movie with some handsome actor where he was the only one who survived a plane crash - he did not only have survivors guilt - he also became fearless and would take crazy walks on high roofs and do balancing acts on skyscrapers.
"Why did he/she die and not me?" Why am I still here?" That's survivors guilt.
Believe it or not I think there is LIVING Survivor's Guilt- you know something like the Living Bible, but without the religious overtones.
In the next few days I will begin to respond to each one of these comments that Whatnext.com brought up- till then- stay off of high roofs and skyscrapers.
"Waylon Jennings was a guitarist for Buddy Holly's band and initially had a seat on the ill-fated aircraft on The Day the Music Died. But Jennings gave up his seat to the sick J.P. "Big Bopper" Richardson, only to learn later of the plane's demise. When Holly learned that Jennings was not going to fly, he said, "Well, I hope your ol' bus freezes up." Jennings responded, "Well, I hope your ol' plane crashes." This exchange of words, though made in jest at the time, haunted Jennings for the rest of his life.[7][8] Jennings, who later became a country music star, expressed survivor's guilt about Richardson's death."
Author's Note: This quote by Waylon Jennings shows that people can say dumb things even BEFORE someone dies or gets sick.
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